Truffles Nefarious

Truffles Nefarious

Being, in brief, the story of the truffles, told in seductive hyperbole in honor of the Sweet Seduction theme of this month’s Sugar High Friday, plus a way YOU can get some.

I had to get that story out of her.

Author Joshilyn Jackson had the story. She had been taunting me with it for months. I had loved her writing since her very first book, but now I was learning something about her character: Joshilyn Jackson is a tease.

She had been teasing since she first saw my book, Blame It on Paris. “BLAME IT ON PARIS,” she emailed. “I have something to Blame on Paris. I call it my Boobs Stuck Under a Bed in Paris story.”

Of course, with a title like that, with a sense of humor like Joshilyn’s, I had to know the truth.

Except she wouldn’t tell it.

Oh, she mentioned it from time to time. The tease. But then she wouldn’t put out. She made obscure references to her mom. “My mom reads my blog. I can’t tell that story.”

“She doesn’t have to know!!” I begged. “You can just tell ME. I won’t tell anyone. I promise.”

But she played coy.

Fortunately, she played coy in front of too many people, and one of them, tempted also by the title Boobs Stuck Under a Bed in Paris, came up with a nefarious plan.

I could lure this story out of Joshilyn with a contest on my blog. A contest for the best story about Paris. But I had to find something sufficiently luring as prize.

Thus the truffles nefarious. Corrupted from my sister’s recipe, which she had corrupted herself from another recipe by the delicious idea of the not-so-secret ingredient.

maraschino.jpg

Nefarious because–it worked. The truffles sent their moral-fiber-weakening waves out on the blogging world.
First Joshilyn cracked. You may read the story here and decide whether it was worth it.

At the same time, the person who had slyly suggested this lure was so inspired, her moral fiber so weakened, that she thought up an idea to win both the truffles AND the competing prize Joshilyn offered for an excuse NOT to tell the story, and she did so in one deft twist, so deft that we coined a new word in her honor: nefariety.

Then, a third prize winner turned out to be a reviewer, and while eating the truffles and reading the book, sometimes in the same bite, she said, “Yum! This book is delicious. I mean GOOD! Really good. Fabulous, in fact.”

And that, my friends, is why I am this month’s Fabulous Author/Book pick over on Dee and Dee Dish About Books. Go check it out for a chance to win some of these very truffles.

truffles.jpg

Okay, I admit, they don’t photograph well. It’s all in the flavor. And here is the recipe that corrupted such estimable people:

TRUFFLES NEFARIOUS
Insides of truffles:

12 oz good chocolate cut in small pieces, but chocolate chips work just fine (if you use 10 oz & 3 tbsp butter, the truffles will taste even better but will be VERY soft and difficult to work with)
4 tbsp butter

1/2 c. cream

1 tbsp. dark corn syrup

4 tbsp maraschino cherry juice

2/3 c. maraschino cherries, finely chopped

Combine chocolate and butter. Zap for 30 seconds in microwave, stir, zap another 30 seconds and stir.

Meanwhile, heat cream & dark corn syrup in a heavy saucepan on the stove until it’s just going to start to simmer.

Pour cream over chocolate. Let stand 2 minutes or so. Stir until well-blended.

Add maraschino cherries and juice and stir in completely.

Pour into an 8×8 baking dish (thanks Alton Brown for this tip) and let cool in the refrigerator. It’s a tricky judgement call on exactly how long. You want to be able to use a melon baller to cut out little balls; if it’s too hard the balls tend to fragment, too soft and they won’t hold their shape enough. Somewhere between 30-60 minutes typically. I still mess it up all the time.

Using a melon baller, carve balls of chocolate out (use another spoon to ease them out of the melon baller) and place them on parchment paper on a cookie sheet. THIS SOUNDS SO EASY. HA. Return to refrigerator until firm, a good hour or so.

Outside of truffles:
Melt a bag of chocolate chips or good quality baking chocolate and 1 tbsp butter over a VERY low heat (Alton Brown says not above 92 degrees). I find that I can do the zap and stir technique in the microwave as above, then finish melting in a heavy glass bowl set inside my electric fondue pot, set to its lowest setting, while I stir.

Dip truffle insides into this chocolate. THIS IS THE FUN PART. IT’S EVEN FUNNER THAN TRYING TO MAKE THE BLASTED BALLS. I have read many tips to make this part easier, and so far none of them work. What I do is use two toothpicks to dip each ball into the melted chocolate, roll it around, and take it back out to set on the parchment paper.

Some people may have noticed from the picture that my truffles just don’t look like Godiva’s. You KNOW Godiva mass produces, so I don’t even want to hear about it. However, you are welcome not to follow my toothpick method and experiment with other methods that might conceivably end up with a more elegant final product.

GOOD LUCK.

Let cool–room temperature is fine now–on parchment paper. Eat.

OR sacrifice yourself to your precious fans, pack them up in boxes, and send them out as REWARDS for nefariety, Boobs Stuck Under Beds in Paris stories, FAb pick weeks…or you could always send them to your FAVORITE AUTHOR.

(The FAVORITE AUTHOR is supposed to be me. I’m just making sure you realize that. If you have FAVORITER authors, just pretend.)

11 Comments
  • I am my favorite…hack writer.

    But Laura, if you get that sequel out in time for me to read on the plane (May 16) you will be my favoritest.

    Truffles weaken morals? Perhaps. But they boost morale. Mine, anyway.

    February 12, 2007 at 8:03 pm
  • That reminds me, Mimi, what is this book you mentioned in another post? Is it fiction or a cookbook or something similar to what you do with your blog? It sounded as if you were working on it now?

    Truffles are a strong temptation. They could weaken anyone. I’m just pointing out that my moral fiber is way too strong right now. But my MORALE is very weak, what with all this sacrificing of truffles and all. How can I write sequels in this demoralized condition?

    February 12, 2007 at 8:15 pm
  • dee

    Laura – Man, you crack me up! I totally love this. And I will now be directing people to THIS exact post, because it contains all of the links to The Story Of The Truffles (can we call it TSOTT, you know- like tea-sot, for short?)

    February 13, 2007 at 1:03 am
  • Love it!!! They look YUMMY!!!! I’m off to think of how to tell my own wedding story – Cajun bride murders bridegroom’s entire clan of NY yankees. That was ALMOST the headline in the paper. Almost.

    Oh, and tea-sot will go down in history, I tell you. Our daughters and sons will read about it in big hard-bound books filled with names, dates, and TSOTT!!!

    February 13, 2007 at 9:50 am
  • Having now tasted Florand Cherry Truffles (Truffles de Florand aux Cherise?), I can honestly tell everyone that they need to do anything they possibly can to snag a taste themselves. Laura’s truffles are divine and to die for.

    February 16, 2007 at 11:44 am
  • Cerise! Cerise! *&^%$#, I knew I was gonna screw that up. Le sigh…

    February 16, 2007 at 12:49 pm
  • Shh! Now people are going to Suspect Something. They’ll think I’m bribing you!

    (I promise I’ll stop saying “Suspect Something” soon. But I am a huge A.A. Milne fan, I have to warn you. One of the top writers of all time. So quotes from him are bound to show up.)

    I would just like to tell everyone that I gave Jayne the truffles AFTER the review. After! In fact, I MET the legendary Jayne yesterday. PERHAPS, if someone bribes ME with truffles, I will TELL ALL. Well, all I could gather from bugs, tracking devices, and hidden cameras, I mean…she’s very elusive, that Jayne.

    February 16, 2007 at 4:18 pm
  • Those truffles look amazing, and produced a great story!

    February 24, 2007 at 9:51 am