Help! Help!

Help! Help!

So…Sébastien did a horrible thing to me.

I know, I know. You’re like, “Oh, shut up, you spoiled brat. We saw his picture. We read that book. You just QUIT complaining.”

BUT. But, but, but. JUST LISTEN.

You know how the day after Easter, all the candy goes on sale? And most of it is perfectly good candy, it’s just shaped like bunnies. And me, you know, I could not care less if I am eating chocolate shaped like a bunny the day after Easter. I’m okay with it. I would probably wear white shoes after Labor Day, too, if I hadn’t lived in Paris too long and therefore no longer have anything white in my wardrobe.

So…we are walking along down the Easter candy aisle, and Sébastien is doing his usual incredulous French thing at what passes for decent candy in the U.S., which is NOT helpful, I mean, I REALIZE we have an inferior selection. More bunnies, but otherwise inferior.

When, all the sudden, in the midst of this snobism, he spies:

CIRCUS PEANUTS. The Chicks & Rabbits Easter version in pretty pastels, but still Circus Peanuts.

brachs_chicks_rabbits_candy.jpg

“FINALLY,” Sébastien says. “Something good.”

I look at it. I look at him. “I’m sorry, have you been shaking your head in homesick despair over all the other candy here, only to choose CIRCUS PEANUTS as the good stuff?”

(Steve Almond, author of Candyfreak, on Circus Peanuts: “a mixture of fascination and disgust. It’s a completely baffling candy.”)

circuspeanut2.jpg

“It looks like something we used to have when I was little,” Sébastien said and got a bag.

And here’s the thing. I do NOT LIKE Peeps, despite impressions that may have been left by earlier posts. And I do NOT like Circus Peanuts. I really think any sugar that isn’t chocolate is a pure waste of my waistline.

BUT. But, but, but…

I ate the whole bag in one day. They were ADDICTIVE. It was like eating…candy.

And then Sébastien complained he had only had one before they disappeared, so I went back and got another bag. (For HIM. Really.)

And ate it in three days. (I was slowing down a little, but still.)

The NEXT time I had a chance to go back, all the Chicks & Rabbits were gone, so I had to get regular Circus Peanuts.

Look:

circuspeanut1.jpg

I have now eaten THREE bags since Easter. For a chocolate snob, this is humiliating. I can’t figure out what’s happened to me. Neither can my jeans.

And the worst of it is, the first two bags were on sale, so only had half the calories, but the last one was FULL PRICE and so not reduced in any way at all.

AND I leave for France in two weeks. AND my mother-in-law could wear her regular jeans home from the hospital after she had her babies.

WHAT am I to do? What would YOU do? Would you, by any chance…practice self-restraint? Maybe don’t tell me if that’s what you would do. I need advice that I can live up to.

Is it possible…

no, wait…

maybe…

no…

I…no, it just can’t be that I eat too much chocolate plus, now, circus peanuts.

I think it’s Sébastien’s fault. Blame it on him.

sebastienmia.jpg

14 Comments
  • I’ve never heard of these “circus peanuts” shaped like bunnies etc.
    I’ve seen those peanuty ones and remember them as not particularly satisfying.
    Yet when it’s put before you, meaning it exists inside the walls of your house = it’s fair game.
    Who hasn’t eaten something they detest, simply because “it was there, like Mount Everest”

    I think regarding the belle-mere, she will expect you to be a bit…hmmm..a bit what? Well, why disappoint her by appearing as skinny as an asperge?
    Make her feel good.
    Do her a favor
    Eat those damn %$#@ peanuts I say! 🙂
    You’ll work it off marching around th rose fields etc…

    April 27, 2007 at 1:35 pm
  • Oh Laura, you poor poor thing! How COULD he? And with Circus Peanuts? Oh my oh my!
    You really need to get yourself back to France and get some real chocolate, and really fast! All this time in the States has obviously warped your sense of taste.

    April 27, 2007 at 1:35 pm
  • But I really must add that I find the idea that half-price candy is also half-price calories is very…enchanting. I must investigate this further.

    April 27, 2007 at 1:37 pm
  • Huh. I dunno. I craved the weird, chemically stuff when I was pregnant, but… nah.

    April 27, 2007 at 3:51 pm
  • I’m seeing a story here. A blogger is pregnant but she is the last one to know, all her blog readers realize it before her. No, seriously, it’s a good story! But not true in my case, Alala!

    You didn’t know about half-price calories, dee? It’s just logic!! “Why don’t they teach Logic at these schools?”

    A bit “rondelette”, Carol. That was the word you were looking for. A bit rondelette. Sigh.

    April 27, 2007 at 5:19 pm
  • I always thought of circus peanuts as being….. peanuts. Real peanuts. Not these sugary things. But I do know what these are. And now that you’ve reminded me of them and I’m going “oooooh, I REMEMBER THOSE!” and “I wonder if I can find any of them in town?” I have to be annoyed at you because I WILL be on the look out for these despite strong objections from by more rational self and I WILL buy them if see them. Dang.

    I can’t be any help in the self discipline department. Recently I’ve been feeling stressed and craving refrigerator cookie dough cookies. Yes, I could make home made cookies. But I have this thing for refrigerator cookie dough cookies. It’s really about the only junk food I crave. There’s an entire ritual that goes along with the baking and eating of them. I was doing really well, resisting. If I can just resist long enough to get out of the store without purchasing them, I can resist going back to the store for them when the urge is strongest late at night when I’m alone and standing in front of the refrigerator and pantry searching for…. them. I have, instead, been trying to fill the desire for refrigerator cookie dough cookies with handfuls of leftover candy covered malt ball eggs, Pez, gingered chocolate, and jelly bellies from our lingering holiday stash. It was working really well until hubby was home several nights ago and went out to the store late at night for snacks for him and William. As he headed out the door I couldn’t keep my mouth from saying “And while you’re at the store, will you pick up…..” ARGH!

    So. My refrigerator now had a tube of refrigerator cookie dough in it. Logic told me this was a bad thing. Logic also told me the only way to rectify the problem was to get it out of my refrigerator as quickly as possible. So i did. I ate it all in three nights.

    I’m waiting for my jeans to creak when I put them on next. I’m not taking any chances though, I’m wearing my baggy army pants today.

    April 27, 2007 at 6:02 pm
  • OK, so I don’t go for the store-bought ones, Laume, but I love, love, love to make a big batch of chocolate chip cookies and freeze them all in small rolls, then pop a roll out once in a while. Because they’re always better hot out of the oven, so I never make a whole batch at once, just a few at a time. I say, they encourage you to drink a lot of milk, so that’s pretty healthy, right? 🙂 Go with it. Live in the moment, Renaissance Soul. 🙂

    April 27, 2007 at 8:35 pm
  • OK, I’m not going to help matters here, but I *love* Circus Peanuts. Now, granted, it’s an occasional treat (like when my mom sends them from the States), but I can easily polish off a bag in a sitting. Of course then I feel really, really gross for a few hours afterwards, but that squishy, foamy, achingly sweet goodness is too much to turn down. Have strength, and this too shall pass 🙂

    April 28, 2007 at 2:31 am
  • Circus peanuts? Really??? Oh, I can’t even look at those things. But I have to admit I love the whole sugar without chocolate thing. You know, sweet tarts, sour patch kids, all of that great rot your teeth stuff. And After Easter Candy rocks!

    April 28, 2007 at 5:01 pm
  • My non-chocolate disgusting-candy weakness is Strawberry Twizzlers. Chris & I understand that if we buy a bag (and it’s always the big bag), we’re going to eat until we feel nauseus (sorry, I can never spell that word). This is truly awful; I avoid artificial dyes and high-fructose corn syrup in everything, but I will succumb to the strawberry Twizzler, and now my kids love them, too, because how hypocritical is it to buy the big bag in a moment of weakness and then not pass a couple to the backseat passengers? VERY hypocritical.

    By the way, Laura, we went to LA Burdick’s today, and if I lived near that place I would be fat, broke, but very, very happy. And, again not being hypocritical, I bought my kids each a tiny $2.50 piece of chocolate (Chris and I each had only one piece, too). But just like I want them to appreciate GOOD books and not stupid ones, I must teach them the ways of the good chocolate early, don’t you think?

    April 28, 2007 at 8:38 pm
  • I’m glad you enjoyed L.A. Burdick’s, Amy! Isn’t it crazy, the cost of chocolate? And I’ve seen much worse. I love their little mice, don’t you?

    April 29, 2007 at 3:22 pm
  • You’re pregnant?

    April 30, 2007 at 9:18 am
  • NO! No, no, no. See response to Alala’s comment. All right, that’s the last time I talk about circus peanuts. I knew it was crazy for me to devour them that way, but I had no idea the rumors that would get started!

    April 30, 2007 at 9:48 am
  • It was a wee little joke…a jokelet…I’m bad about that!

    May 2, 2007 at 8:24 am

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