Guest Superhero: Melanie Lynne Hauser (aka Super Mom)
So I promised you we would be interviewing a superhero on this blog this month, didn’t I? You probably thought I was Making Things Up, as people tend to either genuinely think or pretend to think.
(For example, my brothers like to pretend to think that I am Making Things Up when I say that they are barbaric. Then, in the exact same email exchange where they are complaining about being called barbaric again, the Youngest and Most Civilized of my brothers will shoot me an email saying: “I’m sorry, did you just say in that NPR interview that Sébastien outshot all your brothers? He outshot David. He did NOT outshoot me.“)
But I was Telling the Truth. And to prove that to you, today is once again Not All About Me Day. See because today I got a Wonderful Present in the mail: a new book by Melanie Lynne Hauser! I discovered Melanie Lynne Hauser last year with her first book, Confessions of Super Mom, and I just loved it. Sorry, it’s NOT about Paris, but we can’t blame everything on Paris, right?
The present also included a Swiffer Duster, which makes me suspect that Melanie just knew my house is a complete and utter mess and hasn’t been dusted since we moved in and I’m supposed to be hosting baby showers and all that. Yet more proof Melanie is really Super Mom, because Super Mom does know those kind of things.
So today we’re talking to Super Mom, otherwise known as Melanie Lynne Hauser, who recently confessed her exploits in Confessions of Super Mom and who is soon going to be confessing even more exploits in Super Mom Saves the World (March 7, 2007 to be exact! Order now! Actually, go ahead and get the first book now so you’ll be ready for the second when it hits the stands. I recommend reading them in order). Super Mom is the most fantastic superhero of all time. She is even better than Thor, my former favorite. She may be better than Xena. She is so funny and so touching and true at the same time. We’re very pleased to have Super Mom—that is, her secret identity, Melanie Lynne Hauser, on our blog.
AND, as a special bonus for people from my hometown who might be reading this blog, I have learned that Super Mom (that is Melanie) will be at Horton’s on May 11!!! Isn’t that an amazing coincidence? That is very cool, and a great opportunity to meet an excellent author. You should go! I am saying this in my Super Mom voice that everyone has to listen to.
(Ha. If only I had a Super Mom voice.)
Laura: Super Mom, I really appreciate the way you pretended your life story was fiction. I hit that pressure from my publishing house, too; it must have been something to do with all the memoir scandals last year. But as memoirist to memoirist, I think we can be frank with each other. I’m curious how you feel now that you’ve told the story of your beginnings. Exposed? Do you wish you hadn’t gone into quite so much detail on your insecurities and, well, your sex life? Because I’m currently wishing I had kept a bit more hidden and that people still thought I was normal.
Super Mom/Melanie: My only regret about the sex part is….I didn’t realize that my children’s friends might be reading the book! The first time one of them came up to me and said, “Oh, Super Mom! I just read your book and loved it!” I wanted to die of embarrassment, because all I could think about were the sex parts! Even though they’re not very explicit at all, they’re still there. Gulp.
Laura: I know EXACTLY what you mean. You’re brave to write another memoir after that. My brothers are still making “Ewww, yuck, too much information” comments. And I didn’thave amy sex scenes! I’ve also had a lot of trouble over the whole cover double issue, as I’ve complained about before. What about you? What do you look like really? Who did you get to pose as you for your author photo? Wasn’t the model worried she might attract your enemies? Or does Super Mom keep her under protection?
Super Mom/Melanie: I’m actually too tall, thin and beautiful to have posed for the cover. Nobody would have believed it was me! So we had to hire a more “normal” looking model.
Laura: I knew it! Me, too. Really. So how was it, having Wonder Woman for a mentor? Do you talk about that in Super Mom Saves the World or did Wonder Woman refuse to sign a release? I’m just dying to know her mentoring secrets.
Super Mom/Melanie: The JLA won’t let me discuss this. All I can say is, well — there’s a reason she left that island full of women she lived on. Because the girl just doesn’t like to share the spotlight with other females.
Laura: I knew she’d be jealous of you. I’m jealous of you. I just love the power you—I mean Super Mom has. It’s every mom’s fantasy. You kept me in suspense the whole first book about the Super Time Out—would it work? wouldn’t it? So, without spoiling the suspense, do you—I mean, does Super Mom—discover any new powers in Super Mom Saves the World?
Super Mom/Melanie: All superheroes evolve. So it’s safe to say that in the sequel, I will discover some new powers.
Laura: If people don’t go out and immediately buy multiple copies of this book and read at least one of them, what will you—I mean Super Mom—do as punishment? Super Suspension of TV and Internet Privileges until completion of assignment?
Super Mom/Melanie: Nope. It’s much more elementary. I’ll go door to door and use my Super Guilt Trip to MAKE them go buy the book!
Laura: And, having read about the Super Guilt Trip, I know it is a powerful weapon–I recommend everyone avoid it. Especially when it’s such a win-win situation–you get to read a great book AND make Super Mom happy all at the same time! (And when Super Mom is happy…) Thanks, Super Mom, for joining us today! That is, thanks, Melanie!