Backyard Chickens

Backyard Chickens

You know what I want? I want some backyard chickens.

I know, I know. This is a TANGENT for me.It is also a strange want on my part, given my general attitude toward the zoo Sébastien has acquired for us already. My general attitude toward that zoo is:

1) Indy is a pain and Mia’s Harvard education AND her first house AND the Mini Cooper her daddy wants for her 16th birthday (so he can drive it and pass on to her some giant old safe clunk of a car that we might have at the time) would all be paid for with what we have spent on that cat.

2) They produce a lot of fur which gets pretty much everywhere and never comes entirely off no matter what those vacuum commercials say.

3) They impede travel.

4) They are kind of fluffy and cute at odd moments, but unfortunately the reason I say “odd” is those moments are typically 4 a.m., somewhere between Mia’s 2 a.m. wake-up and 4:30 a.m. wake-up. (Did I mention that girl has gone back to not sleeping? She’s too old for this.)

5) A dog’s nose in one’s ear and a 20-lb cat on one’s chest at 4 am make one’s dream world a slimy, oppressive place, let me tell you. Plus, the vet Judges us about that 20 lbs.

Obviously, someone with that general attitude should not even think about acquiring more animals. And I don’t. I give Sébastien disgusted looks every time he mentions it.

BUT people keep going ON about the wonders and beauties of backyard chickens all over the place, and I can’t help but think how FUN and NATURAL and REAL it would feel to go get our own eggs from the back garden. And they would TASTE good. And it might even be LEGAL soon (it might even already be legal for all I know) because there was some kind of petition circling in our town a couple of months ago.

And the eggs would taste so good. And not only that, they would taste morally right, too.

On the other hand, the same could be said of the eggs at our farmer’s market. And somebody else has to take care of the mess with those, so…

Probably I shall resist the backyard chicken idea. (Right this second, all my live-close-by friends reading this are thinking, “Rats, foiled again.” Because if there is one thing my group of friends would love it is for one of our number to get chickens. Because if one of your friends gets chickens, one thing is sure: YOU will get lots of free fresh organic wonderful eggs while THEY get the mess.)

Maybe I should try some propaganda on my friends. Maybe I should show them some of these very cute chicken coops online. Alas, I cannot now seem to find the Cézanne one I spotted previously.

So are you eating your chocolate? Have you had your 200 grams this week? If you haven’t you must let us know, because someone, somewhere, is going to have to take up your slack.

And as with most hard jobs, that SOMEONE is probably going to have to be ME. Just typical. So you might as well go ahead and break it to me. How much chocolate do I need to eat this week to make up for any shortfalls and win our war?


1 Comment
  • amy

    I want some goats. Not so much with the chickens, but definitely goats. I think they’d be so practical and save time on mowing, wouldn’t they? And Vaughan is supposed to drink goat milk, after all (not that I know how to milk a goat). Plus, we have this wetland setback* that we’re not supposed to alter, even to make a path to the stream, but GOATS! They’re perfectly natural. They could EAT us a path!

    February 23, 2008 at 3:49 pm